The Client Attraction Song – Fifty Ways to Get New Clients

Attracting clients and getting new clients is one of the biggest challenges small business owners face. Especially if you are new to business, or just dreaming about your corporate escape, wondering how you are going to find people to pay you can feel overwhelming. There is certainly a lot of groundwork you should do upfront – like defining your ideal client, packaging your services appropriately, and designing your business model around your life, so that you build the business that you truly want instead of a job for yourself (there are many articles within this site on those topics too). But … you still need to spend time actively getting out there, and getting in front of the real, live people who need your services and are willing to pay for them! Have some fun with this.

Set to the tune of Paul Simon’s Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover, from the album Still Crazy After All These Years. Adaptation by Chief Corporate Fugitive, Sherri Garrity:

“The problem is all inside your head”, she said to me
The answer is easy if you don’t take it personally
I’d like to help you in your struggle to be free
There must be fifty ways to get new clients

She said it’s really not my habit to intrude
Furthermore, I hope my meaning won’t be lost or misconstrued
But I’ll repeat myself, at the risk of being crude
There must be fifty ways to get new clients
Fifty ways to get new clients

You just pick up the phone, Joan
Make a new plan, Fran
You don’t need to be coy, Joy
Just be yourself, be free
Hop off the guru bus, Gus
You don’t need to spend too much
Listening is the key, Lee
And get yourself free

Jump in the chat, Kat
Make a new plan, Fran
You don’t need to be coy, Joy
Just listen to me
Get off the bus, Gus
Don’t need to think too much
One day at a time, Lee
Get yourself free

She said it grieves me so to see you in such pain
I wish there was something I could do to make you smile again
I said I appreciate that and would you please explain
About the fifty ways…

She said why don’t we sleep on it tonight
And I believe in the morning you’ll begin to see the light
And then she reminded me and I realized she probably was right
There must be fifty ways to get new clients
Fifty ways to get new clients!